Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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