put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
