Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
that may or may not have been my penis.
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