hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize