I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
