He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
