are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
