I'm so fucking centered right now
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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