In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
