You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
