i think my tv is drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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