Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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