Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
