I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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