youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
