So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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