Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My life is pants optional.
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