This is not my ceiling
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
