let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
