It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
