Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
