She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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