I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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