I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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