The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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