Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
