How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
