Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.

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  (917): SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion. http://tfl.nu/nlg6
  Replies (4) Good night (2705) Bad night (676)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.

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  (702): you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/rajr
  Replies (11) Good night (4145) Bad night (927)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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  (267): So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from. http://tfl.nu/6xgn
  Replies (14) Good night (3755) Bad night (1201)
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  (916): View more from California

  Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.

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  (916): Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity. http://tfl.nu/tb29
  Replies (4) Good night (3223) Bad night (1017)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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  (570): Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger. http://tfl.nu/xwib
  Replies (33) Good night (1669) Bad night (3649)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.

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  (302): He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was. http://tfl.nu/ureg
  Replies (6) Good night (1309) Bad night (2558)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.

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  (319): I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can. http://tfl.nu/h4v8
  Replies (4) Good night (1652) Bad night (703)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled

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  (347): i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled http://tfl.nu/2qi2
  Replies (6) Good night (554) Bad night (1184)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES

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  (715): your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage (608): HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES http://tfl.nu/buhh
  Replies (5) Good night (2619) Bad night (652)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

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  (847): it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED http://tfl.nu/8bov
  Replies (6) Good night (2105) Bad night (521)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?

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  (208): wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night? http://tfl.nu/7e2i
  Replies (2) Good night (1069) Bad night (513)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept

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  (502): How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept http://tfl.nu/59ls
  Replies (13) Good night (541) Bad night (1662)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.

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  (301): You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight. http://tfl.nu/hmqk
  Replies (5) Good night (785) Bad night (330)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?

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  (509): You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you? http://tfl.nu/3xdc
  Replies (8) Good night (419) Bad night (1202)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing

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  (202): I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing http://tfl.nu/zynh
  Replies (3) Good night (417) Bad night (222)

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