Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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