he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.