Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.

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  (248): I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice. http://tfl.nu/zl11
  Replies (22) Good night (1022) Bad night (6709)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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  (803): If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right? http://tfl.nu/9kx0
  Replies (22) Good night (4429) Bad night (1798)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

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  (856): there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread. http://tfl.nu/6f5w
  Replies (28) Good night (4355) Bad night (1584)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?

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  (403): Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch? http://tfl.nu/fqqa
  Replies (6) Good night (2888) Bad night (1639)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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  (307): We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives. http://tfl.nu/qq5e
  Replies (22) Good night (4679) Bad night (1023)
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  (578): View more from

  You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"

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  (578): You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide" http://tfl.nu/y8fp
  Replies (6) Good night (3101) Bad night (1029)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.

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  (208): He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like. http://tfl.nu/bbeg
  Replies (12) Good night (983) Bad night (748)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck

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  (720): Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck http://tfl.nu/51rp
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (1725)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us 

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  (941): I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us  http://tfl.nu/54ii
  Replies (2) Good night (1361) Bad night (513)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf

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  (206): Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf http://tfl.nu/6f6i
  Replies (4) Good night (1274) Bad night (544)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.

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  (231): Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program. http://tfl.nu/4exh
  Replies (4) Good night (1226) Bad night (529)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year

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  (414): Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year http://tfl.nu/dko3
  Replies (3) Good night (1096) Bad night (588)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.

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  (407): I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case. http://tfl.nu/43fa
  Replies (6) Good night (771) Bad night (398)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner

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  (717): sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner http://tfl.nu/onjq
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (375)
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  (619): View more from California

  When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter

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  (619): When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter http://tfl.nu/6xai
  Replies (5) Good night (391) Bad night (175)

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