Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
bring money and cleavage
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
