last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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