Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
