What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
