Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize