U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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