i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
