The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
