Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
