Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
