Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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