I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
