Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
