who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
