How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
