HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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