How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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