guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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