after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize