so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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