there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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