I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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