these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
