and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
