I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying