The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.