sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Michael Bay diarrhea
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
