As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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