i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
