Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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