Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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